Facebook Love/Hate

Why I love FaceBook:

All of my family and many of my friends live in other states so it is an excellent and quick way to keep in contact. Especially since I hate the telephone and I am not so good at remembering to write letters, or even email. It's nice to just "pop in" real quick and see what everyone is up to.

I do enjoy being able to "reconnect" with people I have lost touch with over the years.

Pictures!

It's really cool to post something and then sit back and read the resulting conversation between a friend from highschool, a friend from college, and someone I just met last week, three people who don't know each other and live in different parts of the country, but are connected because they all know me. I think that's awesome! (Except when they come away from the conversation hating each other. Then it's not so great.) (I actually don't know if the hating part has ever really happened, but you never know!)

I get to find out about things like the Muppets singing Bohemian Rhapsody. (But would my life be any worse if I never knew that existed? Hmmm, in this case, yes. Yes it would.)

It's a nice ego boost to post a picture of something I've created (ie knitted) and get lots of compliments. (Which is probably part of the reason people with kids tend to post a million pictures of their kids.) Just wait until I actually finish recording some new music!

If I need advice on something, all I have to do is ask, and I get lots of comments. Because people always want to tell you what to do.

Why I don't love FaceBook:

It is definitely an Evil Time Sucking Vampire.

I don't REALLY need to know which Classical Composer or Peanuts character I am. Do I?

As I obsessively read about other people's lives I start to feel bad about my own life because I'm not as successful, cool, fertile, creative, smart, or whatever. (But then I realize that FB is the place where most people exaggerate and/or only show the successful side of their lives. Myself included!)

... but I also feel bad for the friends who only post negative things.

I feel like I have to "hide" from ex-spouses (not necessarily mine) for a variety of reasons, and I just really don't enjoy being sneaky.

I keep forgetting that many people out there don't "get" sarcasm, and FB is not a good place to leave really sarcastic comments. Because other people tend to get upset. Or confused.

If I need advice on something, all I have to do is ask, and I get lots of comments. Because people always want to tell you what to do.

New blog

I just started a new blog: "Squirky's Aching Head" (yes, I know, silly name). I decided (at Mr G's suggestion) to make a blog specifically and only for tracking my migraines. I do "track them" on paper, ie I mark down on a little chart when I get them, and if the medication works or not, but I don't really keep track of the little details (the time the migraine started, if there was nausea or not, etc)... And I think keeping track of all that stuff might just help me. Or I hope so. Because I am still quite mystified - why does the medication work really well sometimes but not at all other times? For example.

So, the SquirkHead blog will not be something fun to read, but for now I will just go ahead and make it public.

SquirkWorld will continue to be crafts, music, and complaining about pointless things. Yippee!

Another hat

Hat

I wanted this to look a little more 1920's. It turned out a little bit bigger and more poofy than I had wanted. (The picture doesn't really show the unwanted pooy-ness.) Also the yarn is more stripey than I thought it would be! It's some kind of acrylic-mohair stuff that I've had in my "stash" for a few years. The wee flowers are my own addition, they are all Kidsilk Haze mohair. I followed a pattern that I copied from a book that I had checked out of the library a couple years ago. What book? What pattern? I have no idea! Basically just double crochets all around with a little scallopy thing at the edge.

Conferences vs poops

Part-time-step-moms don't get to go to parent-teacher conferences, at least not in the first couple years of the part-time-step-mommedness. (Who knows what the future will bring?)

But we also don't have to wipe poopie bottoms or pick poop up off the floor (Mr G, aka The Dad, mostly takes care of all things poopie, since they are "his" kids*).

So, in a weird way, it's kind of a trade-off!


*I am more than willing to deal with bathroom stuff, and I do if The Dad is otherwise occupied, but mostly he deals with the missed potty attempts. And he changed all the diapers back when there were diapers to be changed. HIS choice! I think he's putting money in the poop-karma bank, so if we ever have a baby together, ALL the poopie duties will be mine.

Two dresses

aaahhhh!!! Tetris Dress!

I really need to learn how to sew my own cool dresses. The woman who writes the "A Dress A Day" blog (Erin) is one of my heroes.

Also: Darth Vader Dress!

Why does it bother me so much?

Sometimes my FaceBook friends post "status updates" about how their kids are annoying them for whatever reason (won't shut up! won't sleep! drew all over the wall! etc!), and then their friends with kids will comment with similar stories, or "funny" comments such as "Too bad we can't just lock them in the closet for the weekend... lol!" And it's all I can do to resist the urge to write a comment like "Well at least you were able to have kids. Some people don't even get the chance to be annoyed by their children. Because they can't have any. Be thankful for what you have." Or something to that effect.

Of course I would never actually post a comment like that. I UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE that fb is a place where friends can vent about stuff. And I do realize that children can be very annoying. (Take the Wee Gs for example! Take them, please!) (haha just kidding LOL ROTFL smiley face blahhhh) .... And I understand that some people who have kids didn't originally want them or plan for them (is that too harsh of a thing to say? It's true, though.), so of course on some level they may resent their kids even while loving them and caring for them. And I know that ALL my friends with kids DO love and appreciate their kids. It's their right to complain about them as much as they want. But the thing is, after all these many years of trying to have a baby and failing, I feel that if I did manage to have a child I would love her dearly and appreciate her existence and NEVER be annoyed by anything she does. I know, you are thinking: "HA!" The reality is that I would probably right there venting with everyone else about how I'm so irritated that she won't eat broccoli or that her screaming is making me want stab pencils into my ears.

And maybe that's just it. I want to be in "The Club", but I'm not. I feel left out and therefore bitter. Sometimes it is incredibly difficult to be an infertile-childless-loser in a sea of breeders. [Yes yes, I'm "lucky" to be a part-time-step-mom (VERY part-time during the school year). I do feel fortunate that at least I have that.] But it's different. I feel like I'm from a different planet. A lonely planet. Everyone else is "normal", I'm the weird one. And we can't quite relate to each other. So I will keep my comments to myself. (Well, except for writing my blog.)

The Whole Gang

The Whole Gang

It's time for me to take a little break from crocheting pumpkins, I think.

The very first one I made is still my favorite. Isn't that always the way? (She's the second from the right.)